Pieces of Us by Stewart Foster

Author:Stewart Foster
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster UK
Published: 2025-02-27T00:00:00+00:00

guilt comes with silence

It wasn’t my plan to sneak off before you all woke the next morning, but I’d run out of mints and there was no toothpaste in Freddie’s bathroom. And I wasn’t sure if the stench of sick was coming from my clothes or just permanently stuck up my nose.

I headed straight to the bathroom when I got back to mine – took off my clothes, took a dump, got on the scales – ten stone two pounds – one pound less than last evening, same as the morning before. Shit – the Twiglets, the cider – I stepped off, checked the dial was at zero, got back on again – ten stone four pounds. I jumped in the shower. Shower gel on my hands, rubbed it into every finger, more gel, rubbed my neck, my chest, scrubbing away the obvious places sick could reach. I kept scrubbing. Turned the water up hotter, blocked out the pain of the teeth scrapes on the back of my hand and tilted my head back. Water on my hair, running down my face. I held my breath. Why do this, Jonas? You know the hot water makes you cry.

The Twiglets, the cider. It’s all coming back again. But it’s gone, Jonas, you got rid of it hours ago before it could do any damage. I stare at the toilet. Should I, could I?

I block it out, towel round my waist, toothpaste on the brush… trying not to use too much. Leaning over the sink, I look down and see skin creasing over the top of my towel. Rolls. Are they bigger than yesterday? I didn’t bring a clean t-shirt in with me. Have to get from the bathroom to my bedroom without being seen. I pick up the scales – they sometimes weigh lighter when they are on the carpet. Opening the door, I check the coast is clear, run out onto the landing into my room. Get on the scales – ten stone one pound. Yes! Get off, get on again to be sure.

It’s over.

At least for now.

Well, it would have been if the laundry police weren’t in the hallway. Mum was stood by the basket with my jumper in her hands.

‘Jonas, this jumper stinks.’

‘Oh, yeah,’ I said, trying not to panic. ‘Liam spilled cider on it.’

‘And the jeans?’

‘Yeah, them too.’

She gave me a suspicious look.

‘What,’ I said. ‘It’s true. You know what he’s like.’

I walked past her, not too close or she’d smell my breath.

‘Where are you going now? We hardly ever see you. We were thinking of going to Gran’s.’

‘Oh, sorry,’ I said. ‘I’m off back to Freddie’s.’

‘But you only just got in. You can’t have had breakfast.’

‘I’m fine,’ I said. ‘I’ll grab something at his.’

‘Just make sure you do.’

‘I will,’ I said, putting my hand on the door.

‘Oh, Jonas!’

‘What?’ I turned round.

‘Please stop moving the scales from in here.’

‘Sorry.’ A wave of panic swept through my body as I headed back through the hall. ‘I was just…’

‘Just what?’ asked Mum.

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